Memory

Photo of several objects including  a candle, jar, and ring.

Memory

Today is the anniversary of the unexpected death of a friend. I didn’t hear of his death (could not imagine it) until I missed him at his regular spot in an antique paper show held the second week in October and emailed him to ask where he was. His daughter responded that he had passed away this day, the last day of September in 2007. So he is gone 4 years now and I still think of him sometimes at flea markets or when I hear an English accent.

Having reached what feels like a great age, I am always surprised at those who have left my life in this way, the ones who will not accompany me into old age. As a child, I thought my world would never change and it comes as a surprise, even now, to look around and see the holes left in the fabric I’ve woven, questions left unanswered, chapters left unfinished, empty spaces at the table. When my brother died at age 51, he left behind a complete study comparing features and prices of lawnmowers. He was planning to buy a new one in spring…

What is a full life? I believe we go when we are ready, we choose our time, just as we choose when and where to be born. The pattern for our lives shows itself in small clues and synchronicities. We are connected to deep magic, depth as well as breadth. Cherished friends open us up to a wider world and expand who we are. Short life or long, there is no loss of meaning.

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